So I had my last session of IV chemo about 4 weeks ago (woo!). Did the usual do; few days out of action, then the slow climb back up. All good. Felt so good I went to a couple of Bikram Yoga classes which I LOVED. Then suddenly some not so lovely side effects from the Xeloda I was still taking started kicking in and it left me knocked for 6. It was so bad I went to A&E twice. Only for them to basically shrug and say ‘hmmm yeah must be the Xeloda’. Thanks. Thanks for that. They did eventually give me Tramadol and that pretty much knocked that on the head.
It was pretty crap. But whatever, it came, it went, its OVER!!! Lalalalalala. I do feel like forever after that sentiment will be bracketed by this silent add-on (unless it comes back in which case we will do it all again. But it won’t. I mean hopefully it won’t). Like being happy it is over is… Tempting fate? Asking for trouble? I just cannot live thinking it will come back. I have to hope and believe that is it. And whatever happens in the future will happen when it happens and we will deal. But it is strange that after such a major event there is no ‘hang out the bunting’ moment. You just kind of, carry on. With less doctor’s appointments and more appetite.
I have been looking forward to summer so much, knowing it would bring the end of my treatment. And this time of year when work gets busier and my family time gets less is not usually greeted with quite so much joy. But I am ready. I am ready to get back to work, get back to my life. When your working day takes you to places like this:
This week Y went (a little way) up in a hot air balloon. HELLO SYMBOLISM! Up Up and Away indeed!
And we did a treasure hunt to give O his birthday present. A trip for him and H to see Barcelona play at Camp Nou. Its a pretty major present as it involves flights and an overnight in a hotel. But he has asked for several years now and has been so patient. He is so excited, I wish I could go just to spend the whole match watching his face. We have a video of him working out the clues. I have watched it dozens of times with a massive grin of my own plastered across my face. It makes me so happy. He is such a sweet boy.
And we have had the first swim of the year! The kids. Not me. Y realised he had forgotten how to swim. Panicked and had a melt down. Then today he realised he hadn’t forgotten after all and had a great time. Week before last, in the midst of my Bad Time, they stayed the night with their Aunt, a major thing because my kids do not really do sleepovers except with one specific friend. No, not even their Aunts, no not even when their other cousins are all staying over. I DON’T KNOW WHY. But last week they did. They know H and I have a weekend away coming up and the plan is for them to stay with their Aunt for 2 nights. Apparently Y had a wobble at bedtime and was asking for me. His aunt cuddled him and said ‘look if you really want to go home I will take you’. And Y said ‘No. Take me up to bed. We have to stay in May so might aswell get on with it’ Hahahaha. Brave boy.
God how I love those kids, that man, this life.